Traditional Zen instructions for zazen sound very strict. Straight back, don’t move, practise breathing, don’t think so much, awake but unmoving, etc. This isn’t incorrect but gives no indication of where we start from and the difficulties we find along the path. Let’s look at what actually happens when we start to do zazen, how to accept where we start from, and how to deal with the situation so we gain in ability without becoming discouraged.

First the posture. Writing isn’t an easy way to explain simply how the legs are crossed. What is important is to have the knees touching the zabuton or mat. Experiment with raising the zafu or cushions as this helps the knees come down. Usually for newcomers the higher the cushion and butt the easier it is for the knees to reach the mat. There is a feeling of sitting on the front edge of the zafu. Sitting with the calves parallel, not crossed, is often easier for newcomers. In time the hips relax and it becomes easier to cross legs while sitting. Don’t think of or force a half lotus or full lotus until the joints are supple.
The aim is to sit on a tripod, the two knees and backside. This becomes a stable base for the spine. Having the knees unsupported will cause strain in the thighs. Another factor is that when the knees are lower than the backside the thighs angle down and this allows the lower spine to be naturally vertical. Conversely when the knees are high, as when sitting casually with friends on the floor, the spine ends up bowed giving poor posture.

We try to keep the back and head vertical. Old posture habits are going to cause tensions in the back. These can be helped by breathing in consciously and at the same time raise the sternum / breast bone which straightens the spine. It also corrects the common tendency to have the shoulders stooped. Try feeling a pride or confidence in being present and it’s likely the stooped shoulders straighten a little.

Old habits will take time to get free from. This requires generating a good, strong spirit for practise. It’s this spirit that will carry us through the beginning which is often the most difficult. We need a vision of our potential. We do not know just what it looks like but we hold the vision of the bodhisattva that will grow and blossom. It’s this spirit or will to change and grow that is essential for practise to work. Zen won’t do it for us, we have to make Zen work for us.
Our posture should have the presence of ourselves. We should be consciously present. We should raise the desire to be present. It can help to consciously sweep through the body a couple of times at the start of a sit. Sweep from top of head to tip of toes, and back again. We cultivate sitting in our body even though at first it seems we are so much in our head.

We are told not to try to stop thinking but, let’s face it, we think too much. There are several ways to address too much thinking, especially the day-dreaming or boredom types. Some people label thoughts, saying to themselves as they think about, say, dinner “thinking about dinner”. Some are aware of the breath cycle and thinking “now breathing in” while breathing in, and “now breathing out” while breathing out. Some people count their breath. The aim is not to be proficient in a technique but not to be swept up and lost in thoughts.

All this is to gradually become more stable and centered with body and mind while we sit. It is not to stop our natural functioning of the mind, feelings and body. It is to have these functions integrated with and in the moment. As we get to this point we can engage in true zazen. We practise being alive as the totality of this moment, and also seamlessly merging the inside and outside. This sounds a lot all at once. In approaching this it helps to think this state has two elements. One is to raise up the sense of ourselves to merge with what is seen outside. The other is to raise up the awareness of the outside so it includes us. The first is ourselves going out to meet our surroundings. The second is our surroundings including us.

The first element is to turn to being aware of our surroundings. Just awareness often becomes too cold or technical. It’s more than this sense of awareness. We practise with a warm feeling to include the outside, as if it is part of ourselves. A sense of being filled with our surroundings begins to be experienced. This is the practise of meeting and merging with our surroundings, as if totally at home with our surroundings. Our spirit is to take an interest in where we find ourselves.

The second element is to have given ourselves to our surroundings such that it seems that they exist stronger than ourselves. It happens naturally when we see a sunset. It can occur many times naturally or when we really take an interest and give ourselves. If we then relax back into ourselves while keeping the connection outside there is a sense of being present in the surroundings.

These two elements are the two approaches to becoming one with, to unify. To be one with is called samadhi in Buddhism. It simply means to have a natural focus such that the sense of separation of inside and outside is gone, yet inside and outside are there. Samadhi is not a meditative or mental state. We unselfconsciously do it when we’re very interested or very involved with something. It was Shelley that said “who can tell the dancer from the dance”. Roshi has often given the example of mother and baby as a natural samadhi. The mother naturally takes the baby as equally present and as important as herself. To live equally for others is the bodhisattva path. It’s possible to make the mistake of thinking that to lose oneself is samadhi. It isn’t, although this experience may occur early on and is mistaken for samadhi. It's the sense of separation that is lost. Samadhi is to be equally present with ones surroundings -just no barriers!

Over time in zazen we’re more willing to simply sit as ourselves and to simply sit as our surroundings. In time the distance between them dissolves away. It’s as if we’re filled with everything and conversely everything is including us.

Along the way we face and resolve many blocks and barriers to doing this. Some people are conscious of ‘stuff’ from the past appearing. It may be random memory flashes, irrational emotions and reactions, etc. The best way to work with this ‘stuff’ is simply let it be. This means not to hide or repress it. On the other hand there is no need to indulge it, such as acting out, making stories about emotions, thinking about, or reacting to it. There is a Zen saying ‘letting be is letting go’. An emotion is simply felt without anything more added to it. All this ‘stuff’ is worked through within the process of becoming present.

We can begin to see how zazen is taken into our everyday situations. Rather, it’s how the Zen of zazen is taken into everyday situations. It’s doing Zen in activity. We do everyday practise by clearly knowing the situation we’re in and coming forth to do what needs to be done. It’s the practise of becoming clear minded, not avoiding, resisting, or blindly reacting to the situation. It’s the practise of not holding back in manifesting ourselves, not dropping back into old habits. This is the bodhisattva path. Bodhi means awakened, sattva means a being yet implies a courageous, warrior-like way of being.

We can see early practise, practise that can take a long time, is to become free from the old habits and conditioning from the past. As we become freer we pick up the path of the bodhisattva. Here the question of how to respond to situations arises. This is the practise of the Buddhist sila. They do not come from the outside, they are not precepts. Sila means purity. The purity from freeing old ‘stuff’ and finding the pure, bright, clear, mirror mind. We discover our responses are like the mother and baby. There is a natural balance and ethical integrity when all is ourselves. Over time we gain strength in our bodhisattva activities. In truth there is no end to our developing potential. One can endlessly deepen and mature.

David Carlyle big mind, small mind happy tunes or sad laments morning dew and scorching sun ah, shut up you fool just sit --------------------- I wept with joy as my heart soared and my being explored beauty, truth, oneness with everything as I touched the bark of an aged tree From the strength of it's roots the flesh of it's deep scarred bark the wisdom of it's years all of it's truth lie in wait for a moments quiet sharing I tended to it's silent stance and it shared all it's wisdom with compassion and humility as I touched the universe and opened my heart to eternity in a moment of sharing all that is I stood silent and listened to it's voice to the silence of the winds the growth of the wood and the hope of decay and gazed upon death liberation and renewal Emptiness pounded loud upon my heart as each tears weight demanded truths acknowledgment I longed for nothing I longed for everything my breathe quickened my tears flowed renewed and I knew my spiritual path was forever rooted in one moments touch of an aged tree May life bring such tears to every persons being may I weep such tears of joy again that I may grow as wise as an  aged tree Paul Albert In this moment when I am not present, the memeory of what I am does not exist. In this absence of truthful awareness what remains is violent, violent by instinct and force. Surrounded by compliments and support for continued assumptions, something emerges with a smile. On the floor the outline ponders this existence and offers a reminder: effort is no effort - already there. What doubts this? Jon Contorines Yianni seeing you suffer I suffer and the I and the You melt. Only the rain remains washing everything away Wind Poem Having neither pen nor paper I write my poem on the wind.

Peter Smith New black cushion and an alarm clock; now to meditate. Breathe in, breathe out wandering thoughts breathe in, breathe out. Following tradition my forehead presses the hard floor. My chest rises to interrupt this thought. Subject/object gone but the cushion stays put. Sitting with my breath in discipline and resolve I shall become sitting. Mind round the edges, life passes through the center-- nowhere but right here. Self gone, who will be left to write these lines? Buddha has shown me this paper wall I can’t break through. When I hear Roshi's stick hit, where am I? I hear this sound yet left to realize, where am I? Roshi's word: "Bon" --sound of mystical transformation. Roshi hears it, the world hears it, yet where am I? I struggle not to laugh, too easy no self to worry. On and on my breath without me.

Centre News

Changes to the schedule in December:-December 14 to January 2: no 6am-7:30am zazen, and no Thursday noon zazen.
December 24th and 25th (Xmas and Boxing days): no zazen.
January 1st (New Years day): no 9-11am zazen (see below)

New Year is approaching. Following our tradition Saturday December 31st will see a thorough cleaning of the Zen Centre after the morning sit. Refreshments and/or lunch will be provided. All you sitters should come to clean out the old and have things fresh for a new start.
At noon on New Years day there will be a ceremony and potluck lunch. Partners and children are most welcome. Please make the effort to come to celebrate and meet sangha friends. No 9-11am zazen on New Years day.

2006 sesshin dates are February 18th – 25th, May 6th – 13th, August 12 -19, and October 28th – November 4th.
(July sesshin has been changed to August 12 -19 from the original July 22nd – 29th)

The autumn sesshin was smaller than expected. Often it’s the largest of the year. However, the November was big including the four part-time and newcomers Attila and Kumiko.
After everyone being used to Myorei’s excellent tenzoing for many sesshins some new tenzos are starting to pick up speed.

The Mortgage Retirement Fund Appeal ends on December 31st. The response has been admirable. Exceptional, in fact. The appeal went to old Zen friends as well as current members and supporters. The good planning, carefully thought-out card, phone follow up and the very generous offer of matching funds has resulted in a generous and heartfelt response. The total is near $40,000. Final figures will arrive January but the mortgage is all but retired!!!

The www.zen.ca web site statistics show the new Sangha section is used. The Sangha section contains newsletters, sangha news and photo galleries. Dates of last update have been added for news on the Sangha home page to easily check if something new has been added. Several people have asked for recipes from the one day sits and sesshins. This surprised us as they are just simple and nutritious but not special. It’s likely they will appear this spring.

Ceremony workshops have been held for Myorei, E’cho and Eshu. They’re for the tokudo people to learn in detail the terminology, format, butsudan and customs of Zen Buddhist ceremonies. Later the ceremonies will be public as the centre builds up to the full set of Buddhist ceremonies according to our lineage.

The annual administration meeting will be held in the third week of January. A notice will be put up at the Zen centre.

Sangha News

On December 2nd we had a visit from Teitaku and his wife Amelia. They moved to Port Townsend in WA from North Carolina this summer. Down there they studied Zen with Gentei. Both their daughters live in Vancouver so it’s likely we’ll see them regularly.

Congratulations to Joni and Jose on their second child. Born at 1am on December 7, the birth was quicker and easier than Bodhi. He is healthy, a large 9 lb 14 oz and has no name yet.

Peggy became a grandmother on  November 19th. Congratulations, Peggy! This was the day after sesshin ended and Peggy received a phone message on the last evening of the sesshin that her daughter was going into hospital. Remarkable timing! Her grand-daughter is called Anastasia and is doing well.

Gareth had his tokudo shiki, or ordination, on September 17th. Most Zen members and Gareth’s family were present. His Buddhist name is E’cho. He joins Myorei as tokudo people of the Zen Centre.

Nikki is, and has been, in Vancouver with her family. She originally was with the Victoria Zen Centre but has spent the last couple of years training at Mt Baldy Zen Center. Her father had an aneurism and was fortunate to survive. Nikki and her family have been supporting her father through this difficult time.

Attila has only been studying Zen a couple of months at the centre. He has gone down for a month of winter seichu training at Mt Baldy ZC.

Eshin has been attending monthly Osho meetings at Rinzai-ji. These use five days each month and have taken away time from Zen Centre duties. It is a difficult but necessary situation.

Contributions

The Centre asks for a contribution from its friends. This is a way to support the Zen Centre itself and to repay benefits from the Centre’s practise. A contribution of $20 per month is expected and many contribute $35 or $50 per month as appreciation of the practise and centre grows.

A great thank you for all the membership and general donations this autumn: Adrian, Ali-sa, Andrei, Anne, Attila, Betsy, Brad, Branko, Brent, Brett, Bryson, Carlo, Carol, Catherine and Ken, Chris H, Chris M, Chris R, Cristian, David A, David C, Dayle, Dorothy, E'cho, Eshin, Graham, Gordon, Greg, Hector, Ian, Ivan, Janice, Jeff, Jerry, Jonathan, John, Judith, Keith, Ken, Kumiko, Laurie and Tony, Les, Liz, Michael, Mike, Mike and Barbara, Myorei, Naomi, Nathan, Nikki, Paul A, Paul F, Paul M, Peggy, Peter, Ric, Roger, Sam, Steffi, Steve, Stuart, Susan, Tama, Tei Taku, Toby, Trevor, Yves and for all the anonymous donors. Thank you!

Thanks also to Brad with help from Chris M for putting up tiles for the bathroom shower, Mike and Eshin for painting the bathroom ceiling. Thanks to Brent for ethernet cables and medicine. Thanks to Nikki for some great blackberry jam. Brad has also done other small maintenance at the centre. It adds up to a lot of work and we’re very grateful.