Zen practice begins with affirming the relationship of the moment rather than trying to improve or change ourselves. Instead of trying to change the self that is relating, the effort is in more fully immersing oneself in relationship.

Initial instructions for zazen are to pay attention to the posture and settle into the present moment. Perhaps become alive in the present moment is better than ‘settle’. In paying attention, being mindful, being aware, we establish relation with ourselves and our surroundings. The intent is to be more intimate, closer, less separate, from the reality of the present moment.

During this practice there is a letting go of vexations, wandering minds, spacing out, and all sorts of habits and conditioning that tie us up in ourselves and so prevent our being alive in the moment. A habitual tendency is to hold on to some idea of who we want to be. In truth, doing this tightens and closes down who we truly are. It stops us letting go into the flow of relationship. The old habits most of us have are like chains that bind us. At first this is very difficult to see. We may have a fear or anxiety in trusting this letting go into relationship. If we try to let go too much that trying gets in the way. In practicing being aware and centered our vexations, etc surface and float away in time like clouds covering the sun. In modern terms this is the unconscious becoming conscious. This is often a long, gradual process of becoming free of what binds us.

Over time our sense of always being in relationship with the moment strengthens. Over time we sense ourselves as being the relationship we’re in rather than the ‘fixed self’ as Roshi calls it. This is a very important point in Zen practice. The ‘I am’ as someone separate dissolves into the ‘I am’ that is within the relationship of the moment.

This relationship is where subject, object, and the activity that binds them becomes just one thing, or rather one activity. It’s like a musician who plays their instrument to produce music. Any musician will tell you that they must get out of the way for music to appear. That is, to let go the separate, isolated self and give themselves to playing their instrument. Music flows when musician and instrument merge or melt together in the activity of making music.

This is the very direct path of Zen. It is not essential to understand sutras or depend on particular forms of practice. Zen practice cuts directly to the activity of our true self, Buddha Nature.

Back and forth, into unity and out of unity, into separateness and dissolving separateness, contracting down to the samadhi point of this moment and expanding out to the samadhi of action. In time we become the totality of the moment; yet still move back and forth from clear minded clarity of the situation to appropriateness of our response, and back again.

This is true Buddha. It is not a Buddha we can objectify because we have become totally lost in finding ourselves as the activity.

Looking back – by David Stevenson

Over the centuries I have often overgrown weary of the winter winds and the cold that gnaws at your bones forever welcoming spring blossoms, bird song and the return of the bees time and time again I have fallen in love, fathered children poured my sweat into the hunt, or the soil or the making of things accompanied by the occasional song and always I’ve been transfixed by moonshine on water I’ve never tired of the taste of salmon, garlic and fine wine and although I’ve watched countless wars come and go the agony is always the same it’s hard to tell who won and the true price paid

When, I wonder (with Muso) will the horses of war be let loose on Flower Mountain* over and over I’ve done this crazy dance with death and inevitable dip and dive into the abyss only to rise again amazed today the autumn sun warms my weary bones – good enough for tomorrow they will be cold once more *quote from ‘Lamenting the Civil War’ by Muso Soseki (1275-1351)

 Saying Goodbye by Judith Johnson

I spent a good year, a really good year, saying goodbye to Prince George. The first 8-9 years that I lived in Prince George I didn’t like living there. If I had left then there would have been nothing to say goodbye to because I had not said hello.

At first when my Zen teacher Eshin would tell me in the midst of sesshin turmoil, as I desperately tried to escape my life as it was, “your life as it is Judith, your life as it is . . .” I hated that. I hated my life, and kept wanting something better. Better than where I lived, better than my job, better than my house, better than my family, better than the people around me. Nothing seemed adequate. I was so miserable I couldn’t see straight.

Eventually I got the point of what my teacher was saying and started diving in and enjoying my life even though circumstances were what they were, and not what I wanted. Amazing! It is possible to do this. So the last few years in Prince George were much happier for me. Finally I said hello to where I was.

Because I had said hello, there were goodbyes. This last year I was aware that I was doing everything for the last time. From hugging my fellow yogis, Zen practitioners, room mates, colleagues and students; to driving my car one last time, locking up the house for the new owners, one last sitting with the Prince George Zen group; each last time was vivid, fun and full of feeling. I could go back to Prince George, but it would be a different place. Inevitably some people will have left or died, and new people will have arrived. My place in it will never be the same again. But there are no regrets. It was time to leave, it feels right to have left. Saying goodbye enhanced my last year as I said hello to what I was leaving.

As we don’t know the time or manner of our death, everything we do may very well be a last time. If we savour everything with this in mind, life takes on a new edge. Inhale that scent: see, taste, touch, feel, think, every sensation is actually a last sensation. Everything we do is for the last time. We are never in the exact same place twice. There is no time to waste resenting anything. Simply enjoy, and as you say hello also say goodbye. Goodbye to the last moment is also hello to the next.

Sometimes we don’t like something; like gummy oatmeal, grief, or a difficult person. Then it is hard to say hello. Sometimes we like something; like beer, joy, or a best friend. Then it is hard to say goodbye. Either way we need to say both: hello and goodbye.

Our senior teacher Joshu Roshi; during a TV interview at his 100th birthday celebration was asked the secret of his long life. He said something like “immediately forget everything . . . and a new state of consciousness will arise.” He didn’t mean amnesia! Before you say goodbye you have to say hello, and before you can forget something you have to know it. Say hello and say goodbye, know and forget, embrace and through embracing - release. This is Buddhist letting go: an endless hello and goodbye.

Fearlessly unfolding Destination unknown The oak tree in the garden Error after error Constant correction Endless kindness My cowardice is in vain There is nowhere To hide When I fell You stopped To help me up

Summer night The lusty song of frogs Being frogs Lazy water And my old habits Take the easy way Bowing Bowing To bowing Everything A doorway To everywhere

Centre News

The move to the new premises in late August went smoothly with so many sangha members to help. The place was well cleaned and Eshin, Myorei, Christopher, Kumiko and Simon became the first residents. Removing the chimney was easier than expected. It turned out the cement holding the bricks together was mainly sand. Again, many people helped, and it was down in a very few days, requiring three dump bins for all the rubble. Work then moved to cutting back the overgrown garden and putting up fences. Tony cut off the old stumps around the property.
Tradespeople were arranged in September for reroofing, framing, plumbing and electrical work. The sangha helped with the clean up at the end of each day.
In November the renovation moved to drywalling, painting and flooring. The extensive mess meant that only Eshin and Myorei could now stay at the centre. Budget constraints dictated a decorative concrete floor rather than a bamboo floor which was too expensive.
With the start of the New Year much finishing needs to be done before residents move in. This finishing includes cabinets, doors, appliances, drapes, trim, plumbing and electrical fixtures, and many small items.

Zazen continues in the original main room. People have arrived to find drywall dust, paint fumes, plastic sheets everywhere, and other intrusions into the formal practice. Yet the daily sits have continued with very few cancellations and we’re now past the point of clutter on the zendo floor level. The monthly one day sits were stopped for a while but restarted in December.

The centre will be closed this year over Xmas and the New Year. For the first time there will be no New Years ceremony and potluck for 2008. Formal practice starts again on Thursday January 3rd.

An Open Day with a ceremony or sit, and potluck lunch is likely to be arranged when this phase of the renovations is completed. The last four months have been very difficult with much disruption. Zendo attendance and regular donations have dropped off, although many have donated to the renovation. February will be a time to ‘reboot’ practice in the new building. It will be an exciting new start with larger facilities and more practice programs.

The November sesshin was cancelled due to the work load at the centre and Eshin’s involvement in it. It’s the first time there’s been a cancellation.
Dates for the 2008 sesshins are February 2nd – 9th, May 3rd – 10th, August 9th – 16th and November 15th – 22nd. These are on Galiano Island with arrival being the Friday before sesshin.
The 2007 donation receipts used for income tax deductions have been added to this mailing. If you made a donation the receipt should be with this.

Sangha News

Hoben Kim Hansen hosted another dinner and get-together at his home in early December. Teachers and students from all Vancouver’s Zen centres were there. Great company and food! Thank you Hoben !!

Eshin was invited to Asheville, North Carolina to officiate at Michael and Georgia’s wedding in August. Michael and Georgia were at the centre in 2000/1 and now live in Portland, Oregon.

Louise is recovering from her surgery in May. She was recently able to come and sit at the centre but it is still very tiring for her.
Brock, Klare’s husband, had heart surgery in September and recovered well.
Eshin has heard Chikako is unwell again with her cancer.
When sangha members are unwell the centre keeps their photo in the zendo. This is both to remind us of them and so that they may receive benefit from our zazen.

Simon, Eshin’s nephew, came from England for four months to study Zen at the centre. Timing was such that he contributed a lot of work, and it was also a chance for him to experience living in another country.

Rick Spencer dropped in during a visit to Vancouver. He had sat with the Zen Centre over fifteen years ago and now lives in Mexico where he has started a sitting group.

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